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The Recap!
This year was an absolute blast, and I’m definitely going to be tapping some of you in future years to pick a list for me. (If you’re a person who regularly comments on these posts, it’s probably going to be you eventually!) On the whole, I had a really great time, and I feel like I got a lovely little insight into Joe’s childhood.
Top 3
1. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark
2. Lord of Illusions
3. Mimic
Honorable mentions: Highway to Hell, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, and The Warlock.
And Space Truckers. We cannot forget Space Truckers.
I really don’t feel like making a bottom 3 this year because the only movie I really disliked was Two Thousand Manics. The other stuff I gave two stars was not bad just… the least best.
And now it’s time for my annual Halloween tradition of watching Trick R Treat with a cold glass of Pumpkinhead. The weather is finally seasonally appropriate down in Austin, and we’re hitting a haunted house tonight with another planned for tomorrow. Because Halloween is a lifestyle that doesn’t end on October 31.
Happy Halloween! 🎃
This year was an absolute blast, and I’m definitely going to be tapping some of you in future years to pick a list for me. (If you’re a person who regularly comments on these posts, it’s probably going to be you eventually!) On the whole, I had a really great time, and I feel like I got a lovely little insight into Joe’s childhood.
Top 3
1. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark
2. Lord of Illusions
3. Mimic
Honorable mentions: Highway to Hell, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, and The Warlock.
And Space Truckers. We cannot forget Space Truckers.
I really don’t feel like making a bottom 3 this year because the only movie I really disliked was Two Thousand Manics. The other stuff I gave two stars was not bad just… the least best.
And now it’s time for my annual Halloween tradition of watching Trick R Treat with a cold glass of Pumpkinhead. The weather is finally seasonally appropriate down in Austin, and we’re hitting a haunted house tonight with another planned for tomorrow. Because Halloween is a lifestyle that doesn’t end on October 31.
Happy Halloween! 🎃
31. Prince of Darkness - I always try to save something special for Halloween. Not always the scariest or the “best” but just something that intrigues me or looks unique. So I told Joe that I never really pick a specific order in my list except for that. He put something thought into it and ended up picking this one, and it was a great choice. I never knew about John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy. I’ve seen The Thing and liked it, and I really loved In the Mouth of Madness. When I think of horror sub-genres, for some reason Cosmic Horror isn’t something that springs to my mind as readily and I’ve realized that I really enjoy a lot of those movies. Great way to cap off the month!
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
28. The Warlock - Were there definitely some cheesy moments? Oh absolutely. The flying scenes were hilariously bad. But on the whole I had a great time watching a road trip movie staring a puritan and a valley girl that turned into an epic battle between Jon Snow and Lucius Malfoy.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
29. Lifeforce - Gave me serious British spy movie vibes. Visually very cool, and the vampires in space was definitely an interesting take. Probably won’t ever rewatch that one because the whole thing didn’t feel like it made a lot of sense, but it was very pretty.
🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
30. Killer Klowns From Outer Space - This was so stupid and ridiculous while also being amazing. The clowns were honestly pretty terrifying, and all of the sets were just perfect. Fully understand why this is a cult classic.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
29. Lifeforce - Gave me serious British spy movie vibes. Visually very cool, and the vampires in space was definitely an interesting take. Probably won’t ever rewatch that one because the whole thing didn’t feel like it made a lot of sense, but it was very pretty.
🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
30. Killer Klowns From Outer Space - This was so stupid and ridiculous while also being amazing. The clowns were honestly pretty terrifying, and all of the sets were just perfect. Fully understand why this is a cult classic.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
26. Highway to Hell - Well wasn’t this a little unexpected gem! Great visuals and just a fun 90s trip through Hell! It was like Tales from the Crypt + Mad Max + Space Truckers level insanity. I can absolutely see myself rewatching this one.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
27. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - I am ashamed of myself that I haven’t seen this until now, but Aaron Hefler will be so pleased because I absolutely adored it! The amazing creepy house! The outfits! The musical number! This is the greatest movie I’ve ever seen, and I will not be accepting any differing opinions.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
27. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - I am ashamed of myself that I haven’t seen this until now, but Aaron Hefler will be so pleased because I absolutely adored it! The amazing creepy house! The outfits! The musical number! This is the greatest movie I’ve ever seen, and I will not be accepting any differing opinions.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
22. Critters 2 - I actually liked this more than the first one, and I enjoyed the first installment. More silly time with the Critters eating everything in sight and phallic space guns!
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
23. Two Thousand Maniacs - This is definitely making me find the Stephen King movies I was watching as a young child a lot more wholesome if kid Joe was stumbling into this on basic cable. He did make sure to preface this with “all I remember is the barrel scene, and that the movie is super messed up.” I have zero problems with torture p0rn as a genre, I’l watch Hostel while eating dinner. I’ve watched some deeply twisted shit basically as a dare. I’ve still only ever tapped out on three movies and this wasn’t one but it was still a whole lot of NOPE for me. Also this is why we don’t venture outside large cities in the south.
🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas (Or don’t. Just watch the news. Or go to Vidor. [Do not go to Vidor.])
24. Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood - Loved it! Tits and gore plus a super soaker filled with holy water. So glad I finally saw the Tales from the Crypt movies. While this one doesn’t beat Demon Knight, still a great time.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
25. Mimic - There is nothing on earth that hits for me like a big budget mid to late 90s action/horror/thriller. Giant bugs underground in the city plus massive explosions? ALL THE YES. I also had no idea Guillermo del Toro wrote and directed it until Aaron mentioned it
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
23. Two Thousand Maniacs - This is definitely making me find the Stephen King movies I was watching as a young child a lot more wholesome if kid Joe was stumbling into this on basic cable. He did make sure to preface this with “all I remember is the barrel scene, and that the movie is super messed up.” I have zero problems with torture p0rn as a genre, I’l watch Hostel while eating dinner. I’ve watched some deeply twisted shit basically as a dare. I’ve still only ever tapped out on three movies and this wasn’t one but it was still a whole lot of NOPE for me. Also this is why we don’t venture outside large cities in the south.
🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas (Or don’t. Just watch the news. Or go to Vidor. [Do not go to Vidor.])
24. Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood - Loved it! Tits and gore plus a super soaker filled with holy water. So glad I finally saw the Tales from the Crypt movies. While this one doesn’t beat Demon Knight, still a great time.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
25. Mimic - There is nothing on earth that hits for me like a big budget mid to late 90s action/horror/thriller. Giant bugs underground in the city plus massive explosions? ALL THE YES. I also had no idea Guillermo del Toro wrote and directed it until Aaron mentioned it
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
19. The Prophecy II - This one was a pretty good time, though it was sadly lacking in Viggo Mortensen. (Another hot Satan to add to my long long list of hot Satans!) Christopher Walken was doing what he does best, and I do love Biblical horror. Also having Eden be an abandoned factory really is the most 90s thing ever.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
20. Frankenhooker - So many exploding hookers. Completely batshit in every way. I fully understand why teenage Joe was all about this movie.
🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
21. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - I would really love to have seen the face of the person in charge of green lighting this movie when it was first suggested. Hilarious in how utterly ridiculous it is. Was not expecting the musical numbers either!
🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
20. Frankenhooker - So many exploding hookers. Completely batshit in every way. I fully understand why teenage Joe was all about this movie.
🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
21. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - I would really love to have seen the face of the person in charge of green lighting this movie when it was first suggested. Hilarious in how utterly ridiculous it is. Was not expecting the musical numbers either!
🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
16. House - Was not expecting this to delve into an Apocalypse Now PTSD story featuring zombie Richard Moll and Norm from Cheers but I’m here for it. The monsters were that crazy brand of 80s practical effects that CGI can never recreate.
🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Tubi
17. The Blob - This was just an absolute silly goofy fun time. I knew about the original one from the 50s, but I had no idea they remade it in the late 80s. Great practical effects and just a quality creature feature with a side of Evil Government.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
18. From Beyond - Well this was just weird AF. Lovecraftian horror with a side of random BDSM, medical horror, and brainworms. Generally I don’t love anything that delves too deeply into body horror but this time I loved the insanity, no notes.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Tubi
17. The Blob - This was just an absolute silly goofy fun time. I knew about the original one from the 50s, but I had no idea they remade it in the late 80s. Great practical effects and just a quality creature feature with a side of Evil Government.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
18. From Beyond - Well this was just weird AF. Lovecraftian horror with a side of random BDSM, medical horror, and brainworms. Generally I don’t love anything that delves too deeply into body horror but this time I loved the insanity, no notes.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
15. Lord of Illusions - Absolutely loved this one! I usually enjoy anything Clive Barker, and this just hit every 90s movie trope that I can’t get enough of. Loved the big illusionist show, loved the creepy acolytes, loved the oh so 90s effects, loved Famke Janssen being super hot. My favorite for the month!
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
13. C.H.U.D. - The most unbelievable part of this movie was the evil polluting corporation facing actual consequences. I’ve been hearing Joe talk about this one for ages, and the plot was actually way more engaging than I expected.
🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
14. Ghoulies - What in the demented muppets (complementary) was this? Absolutely ridiculous but so over the top it was still pretty fun.
🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
14. Ghoulies - What in the demented muppets (complementary) was this? Absolutely ridiculous but so over the top it was still pretty fun.
🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
10. Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight - Oh I LOVED this one, and absolutely no surprises there. I loved all the Tales from the Crypt shows and I read all the books, but somehow I never saw the movies. Billy Zane was great. . . the whole cast kicked ass. The special effects were typical Tales from the Crypt, and I have no complaints. So much fun!
🎃🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
11. Children of the Corn - Well if this isn’t the trifecta for the three most terrifying things in horror - hillbillies, religious fanatics, and children. Linda Hamilton should have just left her boyfriend in that town and drove off though. I don’t care how far the next town is, I’m not stopping to look around the creepy abandoned east Texas looking town.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
12. Pumpkinhead - Fairly predictable but the grief stricken dad was really good. While the monster did look cool, I definitely expected him to look way more pumpkin-like. Does he get more pumpkin-y in the sequels or is there another movie that REALLY is a full on walking jack o’lantern? Because I really feel like I saw that on a VHS box in the grocery store many many years ago.
🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
11. Children of the Corn - Well if this isn’t the trifecta for the three most terrifying things in horror - hillbillies, religious fanatics, and children. Linda Hamilton should have just left her boyfriend in that town and drove off though. I don’t care how far the next town is, I’m not stopping to look around the creepy abandoned east Texas looking town.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
12. Pumpkinhead - Fairly predictable but the grief stricken dad was really good. While the monster did look cool, I definitely expected him to look way more pumpkin-like. Does he get more pumpkin-y in the sequels or is there another movie that REALLY is a full on walking jack o’lantern? Because I really feel like I saw that on a VHS box in the grocery store many many years ago.
🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
8. Re-animator - Very spurty! I knew about the infamous head scene from various horror countdowns, but other than that I really knew nothing about this movie, and I liked it a lot. I definitely spent a lot of it trying to figure out exactly who Herbert West reminded me of from more modern movie or tv. Over the top gorefest that was pretty fun, though I am very glad that the cat looked as fake as it did.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Roku
9. The Monster Squad - This was one that Joe said he watched endlessly when he was young, and it was pretty adorable. Kids movies in the 80s and 90s sure loved to talk about virgins though. Wholesome Frankenstein was a fun touch too.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Roku
9. The Monster Squad - This was one that Joe said he watched endlessly when he was young, and it was pretty adorable. Kids movies in the 80s and 90s sure loved to talk about virgins though. Wholesome Frankenstein was a fun touch too.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
6. Split Second - I love 90s dystopian future movies. Love the aesthetic, the soundtrack is usually great, and it’s just a vibe I never get tired of. Loved it. Where has this weird-ass movie been all my life? Now I kind of want to go rewatch Virtuosity. . .
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
7. Critters - Yes, somehow I never got around to this one in my youth, and it was silly fun. The Critters were actually kind of cute, I’d probably try to feed it if I saw one in my yard.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
7. Critters - Yes, somehow I never got around to this one in my youth, and it was silly fun. The Critters were actually kind of cute, I’d probably try to feed it if I saw one in my yard.
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Sail the high seas
4. The Gate - Joe got a great big grin on his face when I told him this one was coming up today, and I see why. I wish I’d seen this when I was a kid because I think I would have loved it even more. The weird little monsters, the sheer 80s-ness of it, a very young Stephen Dorff. . . it was all just a blast. It felt like an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark or Goosebumps book.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - CW Streaming
5. Virus - Oh this was so dumb, but luckily I absolutely adore ridiculous 90s action/sci-fi/horror movies. And this one was on a boat! With evil Donald Sutherland! No notes, the 90s truly were the best.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - CW Streaming
5. Virus - Oh this was so dumb, but luckily I absolutely adore ridiculous 90s action/sci-fi/horror movies. And this one was on a boat! With evil Donald Sutherland! No notes, the 90s truly were the best.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
3. The Howling - This one wasn’t my favorite mainly due to the first 45 minutes or so. It just really felt like nothing happened for the first half of the movie. Once the werewolves came out, we had a fun little monster movie with good practical effects.
🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
2. Wishmaster - This felt a bit like they were trying to attempt Hellraiser, and no one can beat Pinhead. The Djinn REALLY reminded me of one of the demons from Angel, but I can’t figure out which one. Not bad, but definitely no Space Truckers!
🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
🎃🎃
Stream - Amazon Prime
The most glorious month of the year has arrived! The month of pumpkin spice, my wedding anniversary, and the greatest gift of all - my annual tradition of fucking off for the entire month at work. The temperatures in Texas are still hot enough that I growl at the sky every afternoon (90 degrees in October is never okay) but it’s always a crisp autumn day in my soul.
For year 17 of my tradition, I decided to hand the reins to my lovely husband. All 31 picks this month are courtesy of Joe. He’s always been a bit horrified that I spent the 80s and 90s enjoying all Stephen King, all the time so I missed a lot of his favorites. This year I’m fixing it!
OCTOBER ORGY OF VIOLENCE 17 - JOE’S REVENGE
A quick refresher for my rating scale -
🎃 - Who the hell greenlit this? Utter garbage, not even worth rewatching for the LOLs.
🎃🎃 - Failed potential. Could have been great but something was missing.
🎃🎃🎃 - I was entertained. Cs get degrees, and some Cs even get rewatched.
🎃🎃🎃🎃 - Genuinely good, permanent space on the rewatch roster. THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS PLEASED.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 - God Tier. Wouldn't change a thing, wish I could erase my mind to watch it the first time.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 - Trick R Treat. That's it. It gets its own category.
1. Space Truckers - I’m definitely in the camp of “I said I liked it, I didn’t say it way good” with a lot of media. Sometimes you just want a silly, goofy time, and this was a great way to start the month. Plus Tywin Lannister and square pigs!
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
For year 17 of my tradition, I decided to hand the reins to my lovely husband. All 31 picks this month are courtesy of Joe. He’s always been a bit horrified that I spent the 80s and 90s enjoying all Stephen King, all the time so I missed a lot of his favorites. This year I’m fixing it!
OCTOBER ORGY OF VIOLENCE 17 - JOE’S REVENGE
A quick refresher for my rating scale -
🎃 - Who the hell greenlit this? Utter garbage, not even worth rewatching for the LOLs.
🎃🎃 - Failed potential. Could have been great but something was missing.
🎃🎃🎃 - I was entertained. Cs get degrees, and some Cs even get rewatched.
🎃🎃🎃🎃 - Genuinely good, permanent space on the rewatch roster. THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS PLEASED.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 - God Tier. Wouldn't change a thing, wish I could erase my mind to watch it the first time.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 - Trick R Treat. That's it. It gets its own category.
1. Space Truckers - I’m definitely in the camp of “I said I liked it, I didn’t say it way good” with a lot of media. Sometimes you just want a silly, goofy time, and this was a great way to start the month. Plus Tywin Lannister and square pigs!
🎃🎃🎃½
Stream - Amazon Prime
The Recap!
This year was pretty great for my selections. I didn’t have a single thing below two stars, and even the low rated movies were more “meh, I wouldn’t rewatch” than “I’m angry I wasted 90 minutes on this.”
Top 3
1. A Quiet Place: Day One
2. The Old Ways
3. Maxxxine
Honorable mentions: The Platform 2, Immaculate, and Bone Tomahawk
Bottom 3
Treehouse
Prey
Longlegs
Treehouse and Prey were just derivative movies that I’ve I’ve seen before in much better versions. Longlegs had so much potential and such a good first 30 minutes (along with being just visually gorgeous) that it bummed me out how BAD the rest of it was.
I actually have most of my list planned out for next year already. Spoiler alert - Joe is going to pick my entire list so it’s going to be an 80s and 90s extravaganza!
And now I’m going to enjoy my annual Halloween tradition of watching Trick R Treat with a frosty glass of Pumpkinhead. I’m also going to try to wrestle Crowley into a pair of bat wings for a photo. Pray for me.
Happy Halloween! 🎃
This year was pretty great for my selections. I didn’t have a single thing below two stars, and even the low rated movies were more “meh, I wouldn’t rewatch” than “I’m angry I wasted 90 minutes on this.”
Top 3
1. A Quiet Place: Day One
2. The Old Ways
3. Maxxxine
Honorable mentions: The Platform 2, Immaculate, and Bone Tomahawk
Bottom 3
Treehouse
Prey
Longlegs
Treehouse and Prey were just derivative movies that I’ve I’ve seen before in much better versions. Longlegs had so much potential and such a good first 30 minutes (along with being just visually gorgeous) that it bummed me out how BAD the rest of it was.
I actually have most of my list planned out for next year already. Spoiler alert - Joe is going to pick my entire list so it’s going to be an 80s and 90s extravaganza!
And now I’m going to enjoy my annual Halloween tradition of watching Trick R Treat with a frosty glass of Pumpkinhead. I’m also going to try to wrestle Crowley into a pair of bat wings for a photo. Pray for me.
Happy Halloween! 🎃
31. Strange Darling - I saw how much Nathaniel Jonsson liked this one, so I decided to give it a shot and went in completely blind, like I had absolutely no idea what this movie was even about when I turned it on. I didn’t even watch a trailer, and that was absolutely the right decision. Non-linear narrative that keeps you guessing the entire time with good acting and a satisfying ending. Definitely worth watching but just go in blind and enjoy the wild ride.
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
🎃🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Sail the high seas
30. Tarot - Was the script a pretty terrible pile of plot holes and info-dumps? Yes. Yes it was. Did the acting make up for that? It really did not. Do I still love stupid big budget teen horror movies? Satan help me, I do. Honestly though, the biggest reason my score is this high is because the visuals for the tarot card monsters were just really cool. I regret nothing.
🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Netflix
🎃🎃🎃
Stream - Netflix
