So today's my birthday. I'm 27. I'm in a better place than I have been in the last few months. I have pretty amazing friends here. Between Duia, Jenny, and all of the amazing internet people they've introduced me too, the new friends I've made with lovely Cary from next door introducing me to her crew, and my friends from the past I have some pretty amazing people in my life. There are people here that care about me. This random group of people brought together by random chance are becoming a family and it's pretty awesome.
Doesn't make me miss my Mom any less though.
It's been hard coming to terms with being happy when she isn't here. I know it's silly and stupid to feel like I'm betraying her because she told me in the letter she left me that all she wanted was for me to be happy.
A year ago, we spent the morning of my birthday in the hospital because Mom needed an MRI. We spent the rest of the day watching Tim Burton movies and eating cake. That was it, and it was perfect. A year ago, I never would have imagined that I'd be in the place I am now, living the life I am. A year ago, I didn't know time was running down for my Mom and I.
I miss her. I miss all the little things she would do. I miss oatmeal cookies in the oven and my favorite butternut squash soup simmering on the stove. I miss waking up on my birthday and knowing that we'd spend the day doing something fun. I just miss my Mom.
I'm going to try my best to have fun today. Duia has something planned that she won't tell me, so I'm in for something fun, and on Monday Cary is taking all of us to this bar downtown where you can play skiball. I'm going to try.