I'm 30 today! 30! That blows my freaking mind. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that it's been 12 years since I started college.

Dave called me up and we had a massively nostalgic chat about college and the glory days back in UNH. Good times, good times.

But 30? Damn. As long as I don't have to start acting like an adult, I guess I'm okay.
Yesterday was my birthday, Friday the 13th YAY! I'm still amazed at the difference between this year and the last. I had a pretty low key birthday. It was mostly me and Joe hanging out at my house. Tamara made me a fabulous cake. I made myself a fabulous pecan pie. Duia made me fabulous tortellini. Aaron was just generally fabulous. Hehe. Anyway, I spent the day with the people I love in a house that I love.

Right now Joe's outside putting Miracle Gro on my lawn. We will have been together four months on the 17th, and sometimes it still catches me by surprise how much I love him.

I'm planning on doing some serious cleaning tomorrow so I can hopefully take some pictures to post so those of you that haven't been lucky enough to visit yet can see my house.
So I'm a bit late updating, but for the night of my birthday my two lovelies, [livejournal.com profile] duia and [livejournal.com profile] lolscubadiver had a surprise picnic for me in the little gazebo in the park in town. It was super sweet and we sat on blankets wearing cute dresses and drinking lemonade. I love them both times 100000000.

Best picnic EVER )
So today's my birthday. I'm 27. I'm in a better place than I have been in the last few months. I have pretty amazing friends here. Between Duia, Jenny, and all of the amazing internet people they've introduced me too, the new friends I've made with lovely Cary from next door introducing me to her crew, and my friends from the past I have some pretty amazing people in my life. There are people here that care about me. This random group of people brought together by random chance are becoming a family and it's pretty awesome.

Doesn't make me miss my Mom any less though.

It's been hard coming to terms with being happy when she isn't here. I know it's silly and stupid to feel like I'm betraying her because she told me in the letter she left me that all she wanted was for me to be happy.

A year ago, we spent the morning of my birthday in the hospital because Mom needed an MRI. We spent the rest of the day watching Tim Burton movies and eating cake. That was it, and it was perfect. A year ago, I never would have imagined that I'd be in the place I am now, living the life I am. A year ago, I didn't know time was running down for my Mom and I.

I miss her. I miss all the little things she would do. I miss oatmeal cookies in the oven and my favorite butternut squash soup simmering on the stove. I miss waking up on my birthday and knowing that we'd spend the day doing something fun. I just miss my Mom.

I'm going to try my best to have fun today. Duia has something planned that she won't tell me, so I'm in for something fun, and on Monday Cary is taking all of us to this bar downtown where you can play skiball. I'm going to try.

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