It's my birthday!

[sacrilicious13]

So today's my birthday. I'm 27. I'm in a better place than I have been in the last few months. I have pretty amazing friends here. Between Duia, Jenny, and all of the amazing internet people they've introduced me too, the new friends I've made with lovely Cary from next door introducing me to her crew, and my friends from the past I have some pretty amazing people in my life. There are people here that care about me. This random group of people brought together by random chance are becoming a family and it's pretty awesome.

Doesn't make me miss my Mom any less though.

It's been hard coming to terms with being happy when she isn't here. I know it's silly and stupid to feel like I'm betraying her because she told me in the letter she left me that all she wanted was for me to be happy.

A year ago, we spent the morning of my birthday in the hospital because Mom needed an MRI. We spent the rest of the day watching Tim Burton movies and eating cake. That was it, and it was perfect. A year ago, I never would have imagined that I'd be in the place I am now, living the life I am. A year ago, I didn't know time was running down for my Mom and I.

I miss her. I miss all the little things she would do. I miss oatmeal cookies in the oven and my favorite butternut squash soup simmering on the stove. I miss waking up on my birthday and knowing that we'd spend the day doing something fun. I just miss my Mom.

I'm going to try my best to have fun today. Duia has something planned that she won't tell me, so I'm in for something fun, and on Monday Cary is taking all of us to this bar downtown where you can play skiball. I'm going to try.

Comments

[blackwayfarers.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday!

You're such an awesome girl, honest to God. I have trouble opening up to people I meet, it takes a long time for me to establish a relationship where I can talk comfortably. With you, it was literally day one and I felt I could talk to you about anything.

You're such an open and accepting and incredibly fun person to have around. I really enjoyed our time together, scouring stores for Jonas Merch and getting Sonic and chilling with your needy Dean Winchester cat.

Thank you for making my trip so awesome ♥ hope today is really good. Again, happy birthday and see you at the wedding :)

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

<3 I had a pretty fabulous time with you too. Watching you go Jonas crazy in Target while we shopped for your "sister" was the most fun I've had in ages. Everytime I go to Sonic I raise my tater tots to you!

[amcw177.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, dear!

I hope you're having an awesome day with your friends :)

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

<3 Thanks so much!

[deevious4.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday, hon!! Hope you have an awesome time no matter what you end up doing. Don't feel guilty. You deserve to have a good time. Seriously.

**huge birthday hugs**

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

It was a quality time. I can't wait until I finally manage to get you down here!

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! Enjoy yourself.

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

Thanks <3 and I really did.

[rheavon.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday!

I know they say the first few years are the hardest, but even after my father died I haven't felt any less sad when he keeps missing out on all my life's events. He's been gone almost 2 years now. I've found that going out and doing something fun or different helps. Try something new and adventurous.

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

Thanks! <3 It's definitely hard having my Mom not be here for any of my life events, big or small, just because she and I were so close, but I know she wants me to be happy and have fun so I'm trying.