sacrilicious13: (Bitch are you for real?)



sacrilicious13: (Bitch are you for real?)
Okay universe. I have ONE THING in my life right now that really makes me happy. My Mom is gone. I'm living in a place I hate, slowing going out of my mind with boredom. The ONE THING that keeps me sane is my lovely, beautiful car that I tell myself Mom got for me since it was paid for with her life insurance.

Today, I got in a car accident.

I'm fine, and the person whose car I hit is fine. His giant SUV had absolutely zero damage, however the front of my sweet, wonderful car is all smashed. What happened was, there was a dead deer at the side of the road that was partly laying in the road. I glanced over at the deer carcass to make sure that I didn't hit THAT, and when I looked back the guy in front of me had stopped short to turn. I slammed on my brakes but I skidded and hit the back of the SUV. The guy had a metal bumper and a trailer hitch on the back so at least there was no damage to his car and he was really nice about it, BUT MY CAR.

Tomorrow I have to take it into the Toyota place and have them fix my baby. The cop said that the damage was all cosmetic, and it should be easy to fix, but I just cannot fucking believe this happened. I drive a worthless piece of shit car that I DESPISE for three years and nothing happens to it. I drive a car that I love and adore for FIVE WEEKS and I get in an accident.

I'm just so upset about this. I love this car because I feel like it's the last present Mom ever got me. Driving this car is the only time I don't feel like hanging myself, and I broke her. I just hope it doesn't take too long for them to fix her. Even though everyone keeps telling me that once they repair everything I won't be able to tell that I was in any kind of accident, but I'm just so afraid that she won't look the same or feel the same.

I just feel like I cannot catch a break. Everytime things seem to be going slightly better for me, the universe feels the need to take a bat to my kneecaps.
sacrilicious13: (Bitch are you for real?)
The Federal Government has come up with yet another idiotic legislation designed to further screw over the world. It's called the FDA Globalization Act of 2008.

The legislation that would put thousands of independant cosmetic and beauty companies out of business by forcing them to pay outrageous registration fees and comply with burdensome paperwork.

If passed, this law would drive consumers back to the days when they could only choose between a few huge, faceless, nameless big box stores and brands for their cosmetics and personal care products.

Companies like Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, Villainess, Possets, and all the fabulous people on Etsy would be screwed by this ruling.

Even if you don't shop in the indie beauty world, PLEASE sign the petition. Small businesses have it tough enough, they don't need this too.

This morning I was using my computer and suddenly my external hard drive SHUTS ITSELF OFF AND REFUSES TO COME BACK ON.

I called the warrenty people and they said that there's really no way to fix it so they're just going to send me a check so I can get a new one, but ALL MY MUSIC OMG. 99% of everything was backed up on cds because I am (rightfully) paranoid. I probably wound up losing around 25 albums that I hadn't backed up yet, and once I figure out which ones they are I'll post a nice list begging for help with those.

It's not like I lost money, but it took me over a month to rip all the cds and get everything organized. It was such a giant fucking pain in the ass and now I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN.

In the words of Dane Cook, some days you really just want to punch a baby.

I ordered a nice LaCie Hard Drive off Amazon. For future reference to anyone who might be considering an external the one that died was the Western Digital MyBook Pro. It worked fine last night when I loaded my iPod and then this morning it just died with zero warning and no power surges, no storms, no nothing.


ETA I just realized that my hard drive's name was DEAN WINCHESTER. HELLHOUNDS ATE MY HARD DRIVE.

ETA2 Also, it's Friday the 13th. What the hell! I was BORN on Friday the 13th! Usually they rock for me!
sacrilicious13: (Bitch are you for real?)
So this morning I turn on my phone and I have four text messages reading "Can we please talk?" "Can we talk." "I'm sorrry" and "Call me tomorrow then." Guess who they're from?

Oh yes. Fucking Kyle.

Now last time he texted me, I just texted him back and told him I had nothing to say to him and to leave me the fuck alone. I THOUGHT I managed to get it through his head. Apparantly not. This time I decided to call him.

He tried to talk at the beginning of the call and I caught him off saying, "You don't get to talk. I get to talk now. I don't know if I wasn't clear enough last time or if you recently suffered a traumatic brain injury but I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU." I then proceeded to yell at him for about ten minutes, telling him than if he had broken up with me in person like an ADULT I wouldn't hate him so much. That he was a dick for acting pissed that I went to his apartment to get some fucking closure. That he was the one who broke up with me and yet he was obviously still hung up on me.

He then tried to say that he wasn't hung up on me, that he was just drunk last night and was thinking about me. Ummmm, that's kind of the definition of being hung up on someone jackass.

After my rant he asked me if I felt better. I said, "Since no one is handing me a photo of your mangled body laying on the train tracks, I guess it's as good as I'm going to get."

The then asked how my mother was. To which I replied, "She has cancer, retard. How do you think she is?" Then he asked how she was right now. Again I said, "She has cancer and she's going through chemotherapy. How the fuck do you think she is."

He apologized for the way he broke up with me, which is too little, too late, but the thing that really gets me is he was still trying to defend breaking up with me over the phone. GET THIS FUCKFACE. THERE IS NO OCCASION EVER IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE IT IS OKAY TO DUMP SOMEONE OVER THE PHONE ON CHRISTMAS EVE.

Then he asked me if I was still moving to Boston. HELL NO, and even if I was I would never want to see, speak to, be friends with, or date him again. He then asked me where I was moving, and I told him it was none of his fucking business but it was a sizeable city. He kept asking where I was moving and when I refused to tell him, he said "What do you think I'm going to track you down?" See he doesn't quite understand what NONE OF HIS DAMN BUSINESS means. Hell, he probably still stalks my journal so he can figure it out.

The conversation ended with him saying that he wished me well and hoped we could see each other again in the future. I'M SORRY HAVE I BEEN TALKING TO MYSELF THIS WHOLE TIME? I then told him that I hope his next girlfriend has the intellectual capactiy of Paris Hilton and that she makes HIM pay for dinner. Then I said told him, "Don't call me. Don't email me. Don't text me. Leave me alone. Bye." And hung up.

So do you think he's going to actually GET THE PICTURE this time?
sacrilicious13: (Bitch are you for real?)
I decided to put this in a seperate entry because I didn't want to taint the good vibes to the last entry with my buckets of anger.

Remember Kyle? He sent me a text last night saying he was sorry and asking me to call him. I just cannot believe the nerve of him. I sent him a text back that said "Don't pretend to care. No, I won't call you. You made it crystal clear that you wanted nothing to do with me the last time we spoke, and since you have obviously been reading my journal I'm sure you read my last entry referring to you in late January. Do not DARE to try and use my mother's cancer as an excuse to get back into my life. You broke up with me, remember?"

The absolute last thing I need to deal with right now is his bullshit. I mean he doesn't speak to me for three months and suddenly, out of the blue he feels the need to apologize? I don't buy it. And even if I did believe he was sincere and did want to be friends, I have exactly zero interest in being friends with someone who treated me like that. Also, Mum called him a fuckhead, so that's quite enough reason for me.
So I called Kyle last night to give hime my phone number. I specifically timed it for when I figured he'd be in class so I could just leave him a message. Gave him the new number, told him to call me and leave me a message telling me that he'd gotten the message. Babbled on for a few minutes because that's what I do on all voicemails. Pretty much said that I figured if we were meant to be we'd still be meant to be in four months, that I hoped his semester went well, and that I'd miss him and talk to him in June.

About an hour later, he calls me and I let it go to voicemail. He leaves me a message telling me to call him back. So I do. He starts off the call by saying that he was pissed that I showed up at his apartment because I "invaded his space." Then he says that he can't promise he'll be single by the time I move, and that he has no intention of staying single and waiting for me. Apparantly four months is a large amount of time just like two hours is a huge distance. Then he says that even if he is single, he can't promise that his feelings won't have changed. He even said that right now when he thinks of me, he thinks of me "more as a friend than an ex-lover." He said that he just decided that it wasn't worth the effort of keeping things going long distance. Apparantly all that dialing and speaking was too much for him. Then I told him I'd talk to him in June and hung up.

At first I was upset, but the longer I thought about everything he said, the more pissed off I got. I have made every excuse imaginable for him. He has been a fucking ASSHOLE about this entire breakup. You know who breaks up with someone over the phone? A COWARD. He broke up with me over the phone, less than two days before Christmas. If he wanted to be a decent human being, he would have kept his mouth shut until he got back and done it to me in person. Instead, he broke up with me in a ten minute phone conversation and then took of for California. And while he was in California, he was too busy to send me a fucking text message asking if I was okay but he sure had time to change his facebook status to single.

Me showing up at his place? When I talked to him yesterday, he acted like I started screaming at him and had to be removed from the apartment. I talked to him very calmly, just asking for an actual explanation and trying to see where things stood, and I was there less than half an hour. I even brought him coffee. I didn't call ahead because I figured that he would tell me not to come and I needed the closure.

He's such a liar. I asked him point blank if he had been having all these thoughts when he saw me last and he said no. So his entire mindset changed in SIX DAYS? When he broke up with me, he told me that he still loved me. He's been basically stringing me along with false hope and bullshit promises for the last month. He breaks up with me in the cruelest way over the phone like a fucking pussy and then he has the nerve to get pissed at me when I need real closure? I don't fucking think so.

I was a perfect girlfriend. Good luck finding another girl who will pay for her own dinner, won't care if you can't talk because you want to watch football, and will bring you cookies. I'm very attractive, open to trying just about anything, not clingy, and I know the words the complete works of Led Zeppelin. May the next girl he dates has the intellectual capacity of Paris Hilton and the mental stability of Britney Spears.

I've spent the last month miserable because of him. He ruined my Christmas. And despite everything he put me through, I was willing to forgive him. Not anymore. I'm not a person who trusts easily, and there's no way I could ever trust him again after all this. Maybe in the future we'll both have enough distance and we can be friends, but that's only going to happen if he apologizes to me for how much of an asshole he was in this entire situation.

So I think I'm finally better. Or I will be once I do one last thing. On our first date, he gave me a rose. I dried it, and it's been sitting in a vase in my room ever since. I think I'll burn it. It seems like a fitting end.
I havve been so horrible about updating LJ but I have an excuse.

My job is trying to kill me.

Seriously. As of last week, we've been required to work 11 hour shifts. I also had to work this Sunday. The maximum hours we're "allowed" to work each week is 63. SIXTY THREE FUCKING HOURS A WEEK. William Arthur is a fucking sweatshop. I cannot wait until June so I can move and I don't have to work here anymore.

So other than wanting to hang myself because I work until 3:30 in the morning, things have been going well. Things are still amazing with Kyle. I pretty much adore him more everytime I see him. I'm spending this weekend in Boston and we're doing the present thing. (I'll make a flocked post later and tell you all what I got him because I know he's reading this!)

My BPAL addiction is going strong. I have seriously bought a ridiculous amount of perfume but dammit I work 60+ hours a week. I deserve to smell nice!

Less than two months until I'm free of the rat bastards at Nextel. I just got off the phone with them YET AGAIN because they were supposed to issue a credit to my account because they're too stupid to make a service that, you know, WORKS. The idiot woman who offered me the credit neglected to enter it into the computer , so of course they wouldn't give it to me. January 27th cannot come soon enough. I want my TMobile Sidekick!

Ugh it's almost three o'clock so I have to go prepare myself for another 11 hours of torment.
According to Whedonesque - Drive has been cancelled. After four episodes.


I really should know better than to watch anything airing on Fox. For the past eleven years Fox has been crapping on my heart. Shows I love that they have axed -

Kindred: The Embraced
Dark Angel
Tru Calling
John Doe
and now Drive.

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

How in the everloving fuck do they expect to really be able to tell how well a show is going to do after airing four episodes over two weeks? It really is starting to feel like Fox is setting these shows up to fail. I mean, they aired Firefly OUT OF ORDER. Fastlane and John Doe were given the death timeslots on Friday night. That's really smart Fox, air the shows aimed at the 18-25 demographic on DATE NIGHT.

This is the brilliant network that passed on Buffy and cancelled Family Guy. When Prison Break got a second season I was amazed. The fact that House and Bones have survived this long is astounding. If it wasn't for those three shows, I would wash my hands of the network completely.

Fuck you Fox. Take some lessons from the CW and FX.



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