Men are stupid. Especially a certain one.
Jan. 29th, 2008 02:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sacrilicious13So I called Kyle last night to give hime my phone number. I specifically timed it for when I figured he'd be in class so I could just leave him a message. Gave him the new number, told him to call me and leave me a message telling me that he'd gotten the message. Babbled on for a few minutes because that's what I do on all voicemails. Pretty much said that I figured if we were meant to be we'd still be meant to be in four months, that I hoped his semester went well, and that I'd miss him and talk to him in June.
About an hour later, he calls me and I let it go to voicemail. He leaves me a message telling me to call him back. So I do. He starts off the call by saying that he was pissed that I showed up at his apartment because I "invaded his space." Then he says that he can't promise he'll be single by the time I move, and that he has no intention of staying single and waiting for me. Apparantly four months is a large amount of time just like two hours is a huge distance. Then he says that even if he is single, he can't promise that his feelings won't have changed. He even said that right now when he thinks of me, he thinks of me "more as a friend than an ex-lover." He said that he just decided that it wasn't worth the effort of keeping things going long distance. Apparantly all that dialing and speaking was too much for him. Then I told him I'd talk to him in June and hung up.
At first I was upset, but the longer I thought about everything he said, the more pissed off I got. I have made every excuse imaginable for him. He has been a fucking ASSHOLE about this entire breakup. You know who breaks up with someone over the phone? A COWARD. He broke up with me over the phone, less than two days before Christmas. If he wanted to be a decent human being, he would have kept his mouth shut until he got back and done it to me in person. Instead, he broke up with me in a ten minute phone conversation and then took of for California. And while he was in California, he was too busy to send me a fucking text message asking if I was okay but he sure had time to change his facebook status to single.
Me showing up at his place? When I talked to him yesterday, he acted like I started screaming at him and had to be removed from the apartment. I talked to him very calmly, just asking for an actual explanation and trying to see where things stood, and I was there less than half an hour. I even brought him coffee. I didn't call ahead because I figured that he would tell me not to come and I needed the closure.
He's such a liar. I asked him point blank if he had been having all these thoughts when he saw me last and he said no. So his entire mindset changed in SIX DAYS? When he broke up with me, he told me that he still loved me. He's been basically stringing me along with false hope and bullshit promises for the last month. He breaks up with me in the cruelest way over the phone like a fucking pussy and then he has the nerve to get pissed at me when I need real closure? I don't fucking think so.
I was a perfect girlfriend. Good luck finding another girl who will pay for her own dinner, won't care if you can't talk because you want to watch football, and will bring you cookies. I'm very attractive, open to trying just about anything, not clingy, and I know the words the complete works of Led Zeppelin. May the next girl he dates has the intellectual capacity of Paris Hilton and the mental stability of Britney Spears.
I've spent the last month miserable because of him. He ruined my Christmas. And despite everything he put me through, I was willing to forgive him. Not anymore. I'm not a person who trusts easily, and there's no way I could ever trust him again after all this. Maybe in the future we'll both have enough distance and we can be friends, but that's only going to happen if he apologizes to me for how much of an asshole he was in this entire situation.
So I think I'm finally better. Or I will be once I do one last thing. On our first date, he gave me a rose. I dried it, and it's been sitting in a vase in my room ever since. I think I'll burn it. It seems like a fitting end.
About an hour later, he calls me and I let it go to voicemail. He leaves me a message telling me to call him back. So I do. He starts off the call by saying that he was pissed that I showed up at his apartment because I "invaded his space." Then he says that he can't promise he'll be single by the time I move, and that he has no intention of staying single and waiting for me. Apparantly four months is a large amount of time just like two hours is a huge distance. Then he says that even if he is single, he can't promise that his feelings won't have changed. He even said that right now when he thinks of me, he thinks of me "more as a friend than an ex-lover." He said that he just decided that it wasn't worth the effort of keeping things going long distance. Apparantly all that dialing and speaking was too much for him. Then I told him I'd talk to him in June and hung up.
At first I was upset, but the longer I thought about everything he said, the more pissed off I got. I have made every excuse imaginable for him. He has been a fucking ASSHOLE about this entire breakup. You know who breaks up with someone over the phone? A COWARD. He broke up with me over the phone, less than two days before Christmas. If he wanted to be a decent human being, he would have kept his mouth shut until he got back and done it to me in person. Instead, he broke up with me in a ten minute phone conversation and then took of for California. And while he was in California, he was too busy to send me a fucking text message asking if I was okay but he sure had time to change his facebook status to single.
Me showing up at his place? When I talked to him yesterday, he acted like I started screaming at him and had to be removed from the apartment. I talked to him very calmly, just asking for an actual explanation and trying to see where things stood, and I was there less than half an hour. I even brought him coffee. I didn't call ahead because I figured that he would tell me not to come and I needed the closure.
He's such a liar. I asked him point blank if he had been having all these thoughts when he saw me last and he said no. So his entire mindset changed in SIX DAYS? When he broke up with me, he told me that he still loved me. He's been basically stringing me along with false hope and bullshit promises for the last month. He breaks up with me in the cruelest way over the phone like a fucking pussy and then he has the nerve to get pissed at me when I need real closure? I don't fucking think so.
I was a perfect girlfriend. Good luck finding another girl who will pay for her own dinner, won't care if you can't talk because you want to watch football, and will bring you cookies. I'm very attractive, open to trying just about anything, not clingy, and I know the words the complete works of Led Zeppelin. May the next girl he dates has the intellectual capacity of Paris Hilton and the mental stability of Britney Spears.
I've spent the last month miserable because of him. He ruined my Christmas. And despite everything he put me through, I was willing to forgive him. Not anymore. I'm not a person who trusts easily, and there's no way I could ever trust him again after all this. Maybe in the future we'll both have enough distance and we can be friends, but that's only going to happen if he apologizes to me for how much of an asshole he was in this entire situation.
So I think I'm finally better. Or I will be once I do one last thing. On our first date, he gave me a rose. I dried it, and it's been sitting in a vase in my room ever since. I think I'll burn it. It seems like a fitting end.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 08:16 pm (UTC)I wish there was something magical I could say to make you feel better or to make it all go away but there's nothing. :( But from this you've learned a lot about yourself and you're changed because of that. Try and hold on to that, to the experience and use it to move forward. *squeezes you*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 09:41 pm (UTC)I know it hurts, I know it's awful, but coming to a realization like that, I also know there is not ANYTHING better than discovering that you really are too good for him. Rock on.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 07:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 12:55 am (UTC)Screw him. He lost the best thing he ever had going for him. maybe he'll come to that realization and come crawling back--but you've seen this side of him now, he can't take that back.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 11:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-02 03:04 am (UTC)So, again, I hope you don't mind, but I've read back over the whole story so far with this guy... and honey? You're better off without him. Even though we don't know each other, I'm so glad that you've found the strength within yourself to be able to cut loose and let go, because he sounds like the douchiest douchebag that ever did douche *ahem* More power to ya :)
I should probably introduce myself. Kayla, 18, UK. Nice meetin' ya - keep on keeping on :D
no subject
Date: 2008-03-02 03:17 am (UTC)So welcome to the LJ. I've been SUCH a slacker about updating lately and I've been far too lazy with fandom. I haven't made a vid in two months and that's just sad. Of course, now I have much more free time! My mom keeps telling me that I need to "find a cute stupid one to use and discard once he gets annoying." I love my mom.
I think my next boyfriend is going to be a construction worker or a mechanic or....Dean Winchester. It never works out when I date these emo college boys because they turn out to the needy and clingy ones. HEY GUYS, IF I WANTED TO DATE A CHICK, I WOULD!
LOL hope I don't scare you off with the crazy, but then you're from SPN fandom, so you're used to it!
PS - Love the icon!
no subject
Date: 2008-03-02 03:27 am (UTC)Yay for slacking! My last original vid, Ritual Habitual, was back in December, and I've only done a remastering since then, so I'm aaaaaaaall about the procrastination. Plus the fact that I've got a video (maybe two) due for Sweet Charity this month, plus a fic, then ANOTHER fic for
I think MY next boyfriend is going to be someone who doesn't function like a defective tap... running hot then cold then hot again.
And honey, I WELCOME the crazy, especially from those who recc ze pr0n. Myself and
And danke on the icon loveage. Gah, I made that one sooooo long ago *lol* Ahh, good times.