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First of all, I want to thank everyone for their kind words to me. Sorry I've been so incommunicado. Tomorrow it will have been two weeks. I can't believe that only two weeks ago things were pretty much perfect in my life.
I want my life from two weeks ago back.
I talked to Kyle on Wednesday and told him that if we have to just be friends until I get out of here in the beginning of June, then I'm willing to do that. I sent him an email on Thursday asking him to call me because I don't know how to DO that. I don't know if I'm allowed to call him, text him, see him. I don't know how this whole "be just friends with someone you're still in love with" thing works. I just really need to talk to him and find out if he's willing to meet me halfway on this.
The next five months are pretty much going to suck. I despise my job. I hate the hours. I hate the fact that I get paid HALF of what the exact same job pays in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. I hate how they forced us to work sixty hour weeks and had the fucking nerve to send us a GREETING CARD thanking us for making the holidays nice for our customers while they were destroying our own holidays. I hate how our "Christmas bonus" was a $15 giftcard to a grocery store and an insulting "party" that consisted of nasty grocery store cookies and watered down punch. Most of all, I hate my job because I feel like it cost me the best relationship I ever had.
I really hope he calls me soon instead of doing the "I'm a guy and thusly must avoid such things." I just really hate this. If I didn't think Kyle was pretty much perfect for me in every way, I wouldn't be doing this. But he is. He really really is. I just wish he would TALK to me.
I want my life from two weeks ago back.
I talked to Kyle on Wednesday and told him that if we have to just be friends until I get out of here in the beginning of June, then I'm willing to do that. I sent him an email on Thursday asking him to call me because I don't know how to DO that. I don't know if I'm allowed to call him, text him, see him. I don't know how this whole "be just friends with someone you're still in love with" thing works. I just really need to talk to him and find out if he's willing to meet me halfway on this.
The next five months are pretty much going to suck. I despise my job. I hate the hours. I hate the fact that I get paid HALF of what the exact same job pays in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. I hate how they forced us to work sixty hour weeks and had the fucking nerve to send us a GREETING CARD thanking us for making the holidays nice for our customers while they were destroying our own holidays. I hate how our "Christmas bonus" was a $15 giftcard to a grocery store and an insulting "party" that consisted of nasty grocery store cookies and watered down punch. Most of all, I hate my job because I feel like it cost me the best relationship I ever had.
I really hope he calls me soon instead of doing the "I'm a guy and thusly must avoid such things." I just really hate this. If I didn't think Kyle was pretty much perfect for me in every way, I wouldn't be doing this. But he is. He really really is. I just wish he would TALK to me.
