I really wish I had gotten the chance to play this for her...

[sacrilicious13]

"The Best Day" by Taylor Swift

I'm five years old,
it's getting cold,
I've got my big coat on.
I hear your laugh,
and look up smiling at you,
I run and run past the pumpkin patch,
and the tractor rides,
look now the sky is gold.
I hug your legs and fall asleep the whole way home.

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall,
I know you're not scared of anything at all,
don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away,
but I know I had the best day with you, today.

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean.
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys,
and we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away,
and we talk and window shop 'til I forgotten all their names.

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school,
but I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you,
don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay,
but I know I had the best day with you today.

I have an excellent father,
his strength is making me stronger,
God smiles on my little brother,
inside and out he's better than I am.

I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run,
and I had the best days with you.

There is a video I found from back when I was three,
you set up a paint set in the kitchen,
and you're talking to me.
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs.
Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world.

Now I know why all the tress change in fall,
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong,
and I love you for giving me your eyes.
Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew,
so I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today.

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Comments

[ghoulchick.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie, I'm so very sorry. I realized in reading this post what must have happened, and read backwards to find I hadn't seen your post from three weeks ago. I've thought of you and your mom often in recent weeks, and my heart hurts for you.

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

It just still seems unreal. Three weeks later and I still keep opening my mouth to tell her something amusing I read on the internet or just one of my random thoughts. Then I remember. I've just never felt so alone in my life. I just hope she knew exactly how much she meant to me.

[torificus.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, baby. :< :

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

I just miss her so much. I've NEVER gone one week without talking to her, let alone three. I just can't believe I'm never going to see her again.

[deevious4.livejournal.com]

so sorry :( I can't think about it without my eyes tearing up.

<3

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

I just miss her so much Dee. I don't know how I'm supposed to get through the rest of my life without her in it.

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

I think the worst thing I can say right now is that I know what you feel, and while I can't know completely, I do understand, at least, how it feels. I can't say it gets easier, I can't say a thing because, in a way, I'm still waiting for my mom to come back.

The one thing I can tell you is that your mom DOES know you love her very, very much, and just as you are always thinking of her, she is also thinking of you.

[sacrilicious.livejournal.com]

Thanks. With most real life people, I feel like they all expect me to be a lot more okay than I am which really makes no sense because they KNOW how close Mom and I were.

I know she's watching over me, but I've just never felt alone in my life before and now I do and it's just crushing. And everyone keeps telling me how great it is that I have all these memories. Yes, it is great but that also means that absolutely everything reminds me of her. I wouldn't trade my memories for anything, but I have no respite from grief because she's a part of everything around me from the quilt on my bed that she made to the dvds that we watched together to the sweater I bought on our last shopping trip.

In the words of Janis Joplin, I'd trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday.

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

You'll get to that point when you do, and no-one can say a thing about 'how long' you should be expected to mourn, or even ebecome functional. And yes, I know how that feels: to this day I can't see Pirates of teh Caribbean 2 because it was the last movie mom and I saw before she died, and the food I only recently made again her favorite food without bursting to tears. A few weeks ago I was about to give up a sweater she bought me the Christmas before she died (it's... really a hideous sweater, and I've worn it about two or three times) and then I just couldn't because it was the last sweater she had given me.

Memories are great, yes, but they're also extremely heavy when there's just one person carrying them.

[plotsthicken.livejournal.com]

Memories are great, yes, but they're also extremely heavy when there's just one person carrying them.

that's beautiful.