Three months yesterday.
Mar. 7th, 2009 10:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sacrilicious13Three months really seems like a short time. I mean, within the grand scheme of life three months is not a lot. However, three months is enough time to change everything I knew about my life.
Today was a beautiful day. It was about 80 degrees. I drove around with the windows down, blaring my tunes, and I stopped at this pretty neighborhood where Mum and I always used to take walks when we lived here before. Walking around and looking at those pretty houses with the sun shining down on me just made me realize that the life I had really is over. I'm never going to have one of those houses in Charlotte with my Mom. I'm never going to take another walk with her.
It's not like this was the first time I've realized this. But today felt like summer. We just wanted to survive the winter and move to the land of sunshine and warmth. I hate that my Mom never got that summer. I hate that she died in a place that we both hated.
I wish I could dream about her. Dee made me this awesome dreamcatcher, but my brain isn't giving me any dreams. I pretty much think all psychology is complete bullshit, but isn't your subconscious supposed to try to give you some comfort with stuff like this?
Some pretty crazy things have gone down in the last few weeks. I'll make a post pretty soon explaining exactly what has made my life rival that of Peyton Sawyer's.
Today was a beautiful day. It was about 80 degrees. I drove around with the windows down, blaring my tunes, and I stopped at this pretty neighborhood where Mum and I always used to take walks when we lived here before. Walking around and looking at those pretty houses with the sun shining down on me just made me realize that the life I had really is over. I'm never going to have one of those houses in Charlotte with my Mom. I'm never going to take another walk with her.
It's not like this was the first time I've realized this. But today felt like summer. We just wanted to survive the winter and move to the land of sunshine and warmth. I hate that my Mom never got that summer. I hate that she died in a place that we both hated.
I wish I could dream about her. Dee made me this awesome dreamcatcher, but my brain isn't giving me any dreams. I pretty much think all psychology is complete bullshit, but isn't your subconscious supposed to try to give you some comfort with stuff like this?
Some pretty crazy things have gone down in the last few weeks. I'll make a post pretty soon explaining exactly what has made my life rival that of Peyton Sawyer's.
